A dose of mortality on a Monday afternoon

Just came back from my appointment with the 'praktijksondersteuner' (medical assistant or registered nurse) for my sugar level, where I got the news that I officially have diabetes type 2. It feels weird to suddenly now have the word 'diabetes' attached to my concept of me. I associate that word usually with my aunts or uncles and my mom. But the difference is that my mom was only diagnosed with diabetis a year ago. She's 67, I'm 36. Ok, admittedly, she could've have it before, but just wasn't aware of it since she belonged to that generation who regarded check-ups as a waste of money, and that a trip to the hospital was necessary only when your condition was 'deathly' serious. Of course the other half of that same generation would counter that a trip to the hospital isn't needed at all since you're dying anyway.

Anyway, back to my story. It's quite shocking for me to be officially diagnosed with diabetes. I was aware that it run in my family, but until this afternoon I had dismissed it as a matter of lifestyle (a great deal of it is) and a consequence of (old) age. The Timi server translates it to: I can't have diabetes since I'm still young and don't really eat a lot of sweets..well, not as much as others I know. Turns out Diabetes 2 occurs mostly in people above 40 and younger if it runs in your family. Plus the fact that being a carbohydrates-junkie doesn't help to prevent it. Ouch. Just realised I'm not 19 anymore, that I'm an anti-gym person, and a hobbit who thinks of wanting to eat pizza the next time, while chomping on my pasta.

Morality is indeed catching up with me. Diabetes, extra 30 pounds, gray hair and wrinkles apearing each day, and the eternal question of what-is-life-and-what's-my

-role-in-it popping in my head all the time -- they're all converging down the road I'm treading.

I'll see in the next 3 months how I'll fare; see if I can lose weight the right way (another ouch), eat right, get less stressed and hopefully lower my cholesterol and sugar level so I won't need to take medication. Wellness was my theme for 2009, and it looks like it's holding me to my word.