Welcome 2008!

Happy New Year to everyone and to me!!! Was just reading my New Year post in 2007 and it's quite amazing to read through all those thoughts going in my mind at that time. Some of the thngs I listed that I would change or achieve still have a familiar ring to it. All those feelings from the past are somehow still here, like fear and insecurity but less intense -- and that's good! It feels so much better this time around. It's good to admit that some of the things I worry about are still here, but it's cool to be able to feel the difference from last year. I've done a lot with letting go and not being afraid of making mistakes at work; and i'm quite proud to have fought for recognition of myself and my achievements before and during my stay in the Netherlands. There are stlll a lot of stuff that can be better of course, and that's ok. All in due time.

Miss my family terribly and the trip to Turkey never took place so that was a bummer. Miss my Dad especially during times when I'm happy and have done good at work or in my organisation. Wish he was still alive coz now I can do so much more things for him, financially speaking, But yeah, my dad was never big on financial matters. Nevertheless, I wish I could pamper him now the way I try to do it with Mom.

This year, I hope to start a scholarship fund in his honour. I want to support one college student and one teacher in the Philippines. I also want to work with the Filipino community in creating our very own Wiki of information, rights and all other stuff one needs to know to be able to live better in Holland. Also, perhaps find funding for my 'Pinoy Fiesta Table'. I hope to do better at work, feel more convenient with it and be more assertive ;-p. Also, having fun at work remains top priority. More holidays are also in the agenda. More weekend trips with my husband, perhaps a trip to Rome with my Mom (she'd freak out if she got to visit the Vatican), and that long-awaited holiday in the Philippines. Have to wait until the Xmas season for that though. And more karaoke sessions with friends. And a cat.

Yeah, I think it's gonna be a good year... ;-)

Happy new year to me

Happy new year everyone!
And happy new year to me!

I've been wishing everyone else a new year full of hope and peace, but I don't think I've ever wished it on myself.

But now I do.
For the last few days I was fidgetting about how the holidays are soon to end, and that would mean, switching off my vacation mode and going back to work and being obssessive and anxious and serious and worrying about everything. I kept thinking about it that I even dreamt about work a couple of times! Argh, isn't that just the perfect way to ruin ones vacation?

I know it is, I'm such an expert on that.

But I realized soon enough that I neede to wish myself the good tidings of this new year. I have to wish myself a new year filled with hope. Wish it and want it. All the little worries that build up and take over my days -- I can wish it away. Better yet, I can lay them to rest with 2006 and begin 2007 anew. I mean, why not? Why not just do that. Just change. get out of the traps I build for myself, get out my comfort zone and realize that the world's not going to end if a plan or two don't work, or if I may mistakes, or if I can't see foresee everything. Stop perfecting my preparations and just go and do what I have to do. Work on my job during work hours, not compensate insecurity with days of stategic planning ;-p And so I propose:

I'll stop being afraid of the unknown and the unplanned. Stop being anxious and instead find that inspiration that once sent me to dizzying heights!

Get along better with beginnings and endings. I'm quite ok once I'm on the roll, but it's those things like mondays, waking up, leaving, changing, saying goodbye that get me.

Remember: a new year means days, hours, minutes, seconds of loving my husband, my family, my friends and cherishing the memory of those who are not with me anymore. Rejoice in the day, rejoice in the chance to love those around me. Stop thinking just about myself and start seeing them.

Fight for my passions. Don't let the corporate nature of my work take over the things that really move me.

Fight for my rights, demand what is mine, know that I'm worthy. Since moving here to the Netherlands five years ago, I've had to settle for less, start from scratch and compromise a lot of things. But I've done my part, I've done what the state required me to do and much more. I've studied (yet again) and gotten that precious Dutch/EU diploma and showd them the stuff I've made of. So now, I demand what is mine. I WILL NO LONGER SETTLE FOR LESS. I WAS A COMPLETE PERSON EVEN BEFORE I MOVED HERE; I WAS A PROFESSIONAL, SO I DEMAND RECOGNITION FOR BOTH PRESENT AND PAST ACHIEVEMENTS. I'll not let myself be exploited. Not by others, not by myself, not by ignorance.

I promise to have fun at work ;-p

I'll still go on living with these mantras of mine as these helped me a lot the past year:
I'll no longer create pain for myself.
Be calm. I am equipped with everything I need to face this moment.
Have courage, this too will pass. Let go.

And start again with singing Why Worry by Dire Straits ;-p

What else?...Uh, ok, I'll try to keep the house clean...or at least, try to keep the floor of my bedroom visible.

I'll be kind to myself and to others. I'll stay famished for wisdom, I will listen, I will hope.

I'll stoke the passons that fired the 19 year old delunna, I'll stay silly and laugh with the 9 QBs, I'll be brave like Sangga, and I'll still sleep with Kitty by my side.

And I'll go on sharing all of these with Mortain. ;-)

Happy new year to you and you and me!!! ;-)